The Monkey King's Used Primate Emporium and Book Reviews

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Robert Shea And Robert Anton Wilson, "The Golden Apple" (Book Two of the Illuminatus! Trilogy)

Started January 17 - Finished January 18, 2002; 258 pages. Posted 19 January 2002

"The issue is not whether you're paranoid. Look around you, Lenny, the issue is whether you are paranoid enough."

-Tom Sizemore in Strange Days

I wonder if I wasn't assuming too much with that last entry. I first heard about this book through random rants from the Book of the Subgenius, and I've seen it referenced in other works, but it's still fairly underground. Perhaps I should delve a little (very little) deeper into the actual works.

This book explains that a small group known only as the Illuminati controls all countries on Earth. Their hold, however, is very tenuous. Occasionally they resort to assassination of leaders (even if said leaders are under their control), in order to keep the public frightened which then helps to increase security measures. The Illuminati are considered "The Bad Guys."

Fighting the Illuminati is a band of rebels called The Discordians, sort of like the Rebels fighting the Empire in Star Wars (which was released two years after this was published, if you want to keep the conspiracy theories running...). Both groups are continually recruiting for new members, and double, triple, and even quadruple agents are not uncommon.

Tying all of this together is a continuing reoccurrence of the number 23. (NOT the date, as previously stated - shows me for writing a review at 3:30 in the morning after tanking up on Bloody Marys.) Also heavily used is "The Law Of 5's" because 2 is an odd numeral, 3 is even. 2 + 3 = 5, or like the yin-yang, opposites are equal.

Now that this is all out of the way, let's just say the book uses these two groups, along with The Law of 5's and the number 23, to explain everything from the JFK assassination to the disappearance of John Dillinger (who, according to this, is the third shooter in Dallas). In order to not be hauled into court by somebody who might take this seriously, the authors have put in time travel, spaceships, and a talking dolphin. As I said before, this is entertaining, but the joke is starting to wear thin, and there's still one more book to go...

In other news, I took a break today and went to see Am�lie for the second time. Goddamn, that's an adorable fucking movie. It's so cute that I have to fucking swear when I talk about the goddamn film, just to try and hold onto some cunting machismo. Fuck.


Rating: Wait for it...

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