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Denis Leary, �No Cure for Cancer�

Started Feburary 3 � Finished Feburary 3, 2002; 146 pages. Posted 4 February 2002

Last semester my roommate, Alex the Flying Poof, enrolled in a stand-up comedy class that supposedly would hone your skills. It was interesting to watch him as he searched for original material and a hook that wouldn�t come off as totally fake.

If you think about it, most of the great stand-ups of our time had such hooks � Steven Wright�s one-liners, Bobcat Goldthwait�s maniacal presence, Steve Martin�s absurdity, and George Carlin�s fun with words. Even the not-so-good comedians had hooks, like Sam Kenison�s screaming or Judy Tenuda�s whining. Others, like Eddie Murphy stole from other people. (Don�t believe me? Watch �Delirious� and then see Richard Pryor�s �Live on the Sunset Strip� and see how much isn�t directly lifted.

So Alex sweated it out and kept working on his act. He occasionally tested his jokes on me, but I couldn�t tell what he was doing and didn�t know he was going to be trying these on a live audience. As written jokes they seemed fine, but how would they play in front of an audience? I got to find out at the end of the semester, since their �final exam� consisted of performing in front of people at SJSU�s auditorium.

I showed up right at the beginning and for the most part it was painful. People told jokes I�ve heard a million times before. Three people of Asian descent used the same material about how they don�t understand why white folks think they eat dogs (which I�m pretty sure has never come up in their normal conversation). Some people just swore for 14 minutes at a time. God, it was awful. And then Alex came on.

I couldn�t even begin to describe his act, but I�ll try. Basically, he just told stories in a fairly deadpan voice and the stories got more and more absurd and strange as he went along. I thought it was great, but wasn�t sure how the rest of SJSU�s student body would take it, as they shun pretty much anything that doesn�t come equipped with a corporate logo at this school.

But I didn�t need to worry. At first I could hear them murmuring to each other: �What the hell is he talking about?� As he went on, the audience relaxed, realizing that not everything needed a direct punch line in order to be funny. It got better and better as he went along and I can safely say he was the funniest guy that night, although that really isn�t saying much. He was also totally original, whereas the rest should have gotten F grades for plagiarizing.

As for Denis Leary, I�m not sure. This is basically a transcription of his stage act (I thought it was going to be a play when I first picked it up). There are some very funny parts, and his voice comes though more clearly than Malcolm X�s speeches in type.

But is he really doing anything new? Hardly. Lenny Bruce came to mind, but he threw in some current events to show why he was angry. Leary just rants. But he likes to smoke, goddamn it, so he�s okay with me. As he says, �JFK smoked. Lee Harvey Oswald didn�t. [...] The Rolling Stones smoked. The BeeGees didn�t. Winston Churchill smoked. Hitler didn�t. And Hitler was a vegetarian. I rest my case.�


Rating: Flea market prices.

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