The Monkey King's Used Primate Emporium and Book Reviews

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Michael Newton, "Holy Homicide � An Encyclopedia of Those Who Go With Their God ... And Kill!"

Started July 9 � Finished July 9, 2002; 288 pages. Posted 10 July 2002

I have kissed a person that has an entry in this book!

No, really! But before you all start backing away from me slowly, let me explain. It was probably sometime around 1994 when Operation Rescue, The terrorist Pro-Life movement, announced their �No Place to Hide� campaign, which essentially meant they would call a state of siege on abortion clinics, concentrating on seven cities across the United States.

San Jose was one of the cities. While they were warming up for their campaign, they held an information rally at a church just down the street from my house. I went with my friend Dayton, we pretended to be reporters (albeit reporters that had a purple mohawk, and his photographer who had dreadlocks). And somehow, we got inside the church. We sat through their testimonials, watched their propaganda films, and when it was over we muscled our way up to the front.

I asked Randall Terry, one of the top men in Operation Rescue, if he would consent to a picture with me. He said yes, and Dayton aimed his camera as he slowly counted. �One ... two ...�

On three, I quickly leaned over and kissed him smack in the middle of his big dumb ugly face. He tried to laugh it off, as the cameras from the networks were still rolling, but he wasn�t pleased. He said something about how he wished all the girls would do that to him. I asked how he would pay for all the abortions he�d have to get if they did. Then we left.

Quickly.

And now he�s listed in this book, showing his link to several clinic bombings and various shootings. Hope he doesn�t hold a grudge against me.

This is gruesome stuff, and I have to say as weird and crazy as most of the people listed in this book seem to be, nobody beats the Mormons. I�ve made fun of a lot of Mormons in my time; in fact, whenever they show up at my door, I start jumping up and down, demanding that they sing the �Who Broke My Window?� song.

Maybe I should knock that shit off. They�re pretty hardcore. Really, they ought to be called a gang rather than a church, or even a cult.

Still, though, this book loses a lot of credibility because of sloppy editing. The book was obviously self-published. The binding has that telltale sign, and the cover art, such as it is, obviously comes from somebody who has no idea on how to �sell� a book. The �publisher,� Loompanics Unlimited, has put out several other books mostly by the same author, and most are variations on similar gruesome subjects such as encyclopedia listings on killer cops, serial killers, and female murderers.

I think Newton needs a new hobby.

The last ten pages have layout problems on every page, sometimes cutting off the final line, but all too often the next page repeats one or two lines from the page prior. All of these bring credibility into question, although the author cites a large number of books and published articles used as source material.

But I didn�t realize the worst of it until I started to type this review. I didn�t catch it before, and neither did any person that I showed the book to, but the cover title reads like this: �Holy Homicide — An Encylopedia of those...�

Uh, it�s ENCYCLOPEDIA. They got the spelling right on the spine, and I�m giving them credit for it.

So please don�t send the Mormons after me.


Rating: Worth working in a used bookstore and getting for super cheap.

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