Kevin Smith , �Daredevil: Visionaries�
I guess I really need an afterword to the entire Hawaiian debacle, but I�ll be damned if I�m going to reformat all of these to place this one at the end, where it belongs. You shouldn�t have dawdled in reading.
When I did finally get home there were no roommates there to greet me, not that I was expecting them to — I don�t think I even told them when I was coming back. The next morning three of my five roommates were home, so I busted out the tourist presents: a coconut monkey for Alex (which has got to be the strangest gift, as I don�t believe there are ANY wild monkeys on Hawaii, �cause if there were I wouldn�t have come back), the obligatory dashboard hula doll for Jerrod, an aloha shot glass for Brian, and matching flower coffee mugs and genuine coffee from the plantation that was around the corner from my father�s place for the couple, who shall remain nameless.
The male side of the couple took the gifts and told me he had some bad news; they had been looking for a place while I was gone, and voila! They had found one.
Less than two months ago when our household had dwindled to four people, we had a house meeting to see how we were going to fill the void (and more importantly, the rent) left by the exodus of Smoking Buddy. The couple, who were not living together at the time, were planning to change just that. Brian was also moving out of his house and had recently asked Jerrod to find a place with him. I explained that since, if all things went smoothly, I would be leaving this coast in about five months to continue paying outrageous prices for schooling, it would be difficult to find somebody willing to rent me a room.
Of course, I keep forgetting that things NEVER go smoothly for me.
After much hashing out of living quarters and negotiations of rental prices, we came to an agreement: The couple would take one of the larger rooms, paying a little more than usual, since they now had two bodies taking space in the house. Brian would take the smallest room after a price reduction. Alex, Jerrod and myself would stay where we were, paying the same amount. Everyone would stay until January, and then they could figure out if they wanted to replace me when I left, or leave the house en masse. I can actually say I was touched at their concern for my future.
Of course, things didn�t work out as planned. The female side of the couple, despite having spent 75 percent of her free time at our place and thus knew how we operated, suddenly wanted to change a lot of things including the layout of the house. She also designated specific areas for each person in the refrigerator and cupboard space. I went along with it, but not without adding some dripping sarcasm, which as anybody who knows me will attest, is pretty much my standard mode of operation.
And then of course, there was the point of me yelling at her after reading that horrible, horrible Kerouac book. After that incident (which I apologized profusely for), I tried to make her feel relaxed by being �Silly Wacky Fun Dean.�
Upon reflection, this was probably the wrong way to go, as it made me look bipolar and extremely unbalanced. But fuck! Like none of you have over-reacted and said or done something that you didn�t mean, simply because you were in a bad mood? You haven�t? Well, la-te-dah! Look at the little perfect person!
So now they were moving out. Okay. I mean, we did have an agreement, but it�s not like we had signed a contract in blood and if they aren�t happy, I�m not going to force them to stay. This just means that we have to scramble to find yet another roommate - which will make it the 11th person that will come in since I first moved here about three years ago. Sheesh.
Then I notice the female side of the couple loading a box into her car. �Wait a minute,� I say, �You�re moving out TODAY?�
Yes, they were moving out today.
I�m trying to be amiable about all of this. Okay, they found a pretty nice place. Okay, our agreement wasn�t set in stone, and they have the right to move out if they want to. But I didn�t even know they were looking for a place, and now they�re moving out on the day after I get back. Which means that we have 14 days to find another roommate, or else we have to scrape up another $600.00 for rent.
This is not cool. And what bugs me is how fucking inconsiderate it is. It�s also kind of funny in a weird way because when I got back from England, Alan and Cindy informed me that they were moving out. The point is, I should never go anywhere, lest things all fall apart.
So I�ve been totally stressed out. So stressed out in fact, that it took a week before I picked up a book again, but more on that in a minute.
I started asking around for prospective roommates, but when you�ve already gone through ten people, you know your options are going to be pretty limited. During my search, I found out that my former roommate from my apartment days was looking for a person to move into his place. I want to take it because frankly, I�m sick of trying to find the right puzzle piece to fit here. I�m also tired of having all the household responsibilities, including yard work, making sure the garbage gets taken out, and dealing with our asshole scumfuck landlord.
But I�m also not going to bail out on the rest of the roommates, as that would make me just as bad as the couple. But I�m having a hard time getting a committed answer out of anyone about what they want to do. Meanwhile, the window of opportunity is closing on the other place, I still need to apply to a bunch of colleges across the country, and the school semester starts in 12 hours.
So last night I forced myself to sit down and read, and I definitely didn�t want anything heavy. Kevin Smith (yes, THAT Kevin Smith) writing for my all time favorite comic seemed like a good way to go. And it was. Of course, since these were originally issued as comics, I already had all the issues but not in a collected form. I see that the first issue is usually going for 45 bucks on Ebay, and although I have no intention of selling them, ever, it did make me reluctant to open them up, so this was perfect.
I think Kevin Smith is a really funny guy, and he writes great dialogue. And as sophomoric as some of his dialogue can be at times, this is really some mature, adult work, probably the best writing done for this comic since the Frank Miller heyday that sucked me into the comic and made me a lifelong fan in the first place. Yes, like Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, there�s a little too much going on in the way of in-jokes, but it doesn�t distract from the story.
Better yet, the introduction by Ben Affleck has him describing how he was first introduced to the character, and it matches my experience almost exactly. His feelings about the character match mine as well. I think that�s pretty neat; somebody that seems so distant from my own lifestyle and stature (overlooking the fact that I�m a movie star in my own right � didn�t you see me in Notting Hill? I was very funny!), had nearly the same experience that I did.
And for the first time in the last week, I wasn�t stressed out by everything that was going on around me.
