The Monkey King's Used Primate Emporium and Book Reviews

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Philip K. Dick, �The Game-Players of Titan�

Started October 14 � Finished October 15, 2002; 191 pages. Posted 23 October 2002

Fuck books! I got a PLAYSTATION 2! (I know, I'm incredibly behind the times.) And not only did I get a Playstation 2, but I also got FINAL FANTASY X, and MONSTER RANCHER 3! Both of these games take forever to get through, and they are really, REALLY involved. So my books can just languish on the shelf as far as I�m concerned � I got some games to play!

After I finish these midterms, anyway.

Okay, I don�t care much for science fiction, which I�ve stated, and Philip K. Dick, though celebrated as the best thing since sliced bread (and I like sliced bread), has struck out on two occasions for me already.

But man, this was good. I�m talking Blade Runner good. Not good enough for me to consider it in my favorite top five, or even twenty for that matter, but after all the shit of moving, Matty�s death, midterms, and general crapulence, it was nice to have a silly little fun read.

And it was more impressive since I don�t like science fiction, so in order for me to like this � quite a bit, actually � well, that�s quite an achievement. Good stuff, with a nice mix of paranoia, old hard-boiled detective work, and a nice bit of humor at the right spots (like the auto-autos, which will drive you where ever you want to go, but just happen to bitch during the entire drive). Now I don�t mind that I have a bunch of other things that I still need to slog through with this author.

And to Dan and Craig, and anybody else, let me say a little bit of trivia about Monster Rancher. If you don�t know, it�s basically a rip-off of those tamaguchi pets that were popular about four or five years ago, but with a twist. You raise a creature by taking a music CD, which the playstation then reads the data.

Don�t ask me how it does it, but each monster is different, either in what genus the creature is (both dominant and regressive traits), or in individual statistics like strength, speed and intelligence. So you get your creature from the CD (for instance, the Hickey �Various States of Disrepair� gives you a cute little pixie who has a bad temper), and you feed and train it.

If that was all there was, the game would be pretty dull pretty quick. So, in order to make the game appeal to 14 year-old boys, and geeks that wish they were still 14, you get to pit your monster in battle.

Okay, so that�s the summary. The point is, on the first version of Monster Rancher after building all these different creatures up to varies sizes and states, trying to win tournaments, and mixing and matching their DNA, and even charting out the results, I put in the All You Can Eat �Manga� CD. The creature I got (sort of a golum, as opposed to gollem) was so powerful that he plowed through ALL the levels of competition without having to do any DNA mixing, which is apparently unheard of.

That�s one powerful CD. Now I just wish I could play the new version of the game. Fucking professors monopolizing all my time, and not the one who is totally hot. Grrrrr.


Rating: Worth new!

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