The Monkey King's Used Primate Emporium and Book Reviews

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George Orwell, �Burmese Days�

Started December 22 � Finished December 26, 2002; 274 pages. Posted 31 December 2002

I don�t think I�ve ever waved back and forth on a book so much � loving parts of it, hating others, and being totally indifferent with still other pieces. This was a really weird read for me, and I guess I shouldn�t be surprised that at least four people who saw me reading this had never heard of this book.

I�m really having a hard time thinking of anything to say about it, because I can�t think of how to put my thoughts into words — every statement I think of is thrown into a direct opposite reaction.

For instance, I could say that one of the things I disliked was that every, and I mean EVERY character was totally unlikable. You have the main character (who is obviously fashioned after Orwell himself) who is so indecisive and namby-pamby that you want to smack him. He has a gold-digging, mean spirited girlfriend who is so full of venom that you not only want to smack her, but you want to smack Orwell�s character for being with her. Then there�s the pompous proper lady who is trying to set up her equally pompous and proper niece who you want to smack just on general principle. And I�m going to stop talking about the characters, as I�m sounding like Henry Rollins.

But so what? Who says the characters need to be �likable?� Are the characters in Goodfellas likeable? Or the characters in any Jim Thompson novel? How about that book on Nixon that I just finished? So I suppose it�s not so much that the characters in this novel are unlikable, but that they�re so damn irritating.

And the irritating scenes go on and on until I�m just totally sick of them, hence why this book took so long in finishing. Still, every time when I was almost at my wits� end, something would happen to bring the book back to an interesting level and I would relax just long enough for the characters to turn caustic again.

Finally, the intertwined characters came to a head, and the book finally became interesting, and what�s more, it even became good. But I couldn�t stop thinking that having to wade through 181 pages for the story to get anywhere was not the sign of a great novel.

I also heard a rumor, as yet unconfirmed. If it turns out to be true, then we have a whole new category of how to rate books, so hopefully somebody can let me know. What I heard is that Barnes and Noble have a standing policy not to interfere with anybody shoplifting at one of their stores.

And so, if this is true, I would say the rating for this book is that it is worth stealing from Barnes and Noble.


Rating: See Above.

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