Kevin Smith, �Two Screenplays � Clerks/Chasing Amy�
I�m starting to enjoy this whole screenplay-reading thing, particularly if the screenplay is for the film before it gets edited down. You get a sense of what works and what doesn�t, and then you reflect on whether the changes worked for the better.
Clerks has several moments that don�t appear in the film, and you (or I, to be accurate) wonder why Smith left them out. There are also many characters that switched gender from script to screen, and the woman who comments on the guidance counselor�s behavior has a job killing Chinese people for the railroads instead of what she actually says in the film. Still, after reading this, I'm amazed I haven�t answered every person who walks into the bookstore and asks what the cat�s name is with, �Annoying Customer.�
At the same time, Chasing Amy surprisingly has several preachy moments that would have ground the film to a halt and come off as PC saber-rattling if they had remained. Thank christ that they didn�t. But the best thing about reading these screenplays is that I can breeze through them in a time span that is shorter than the actual movie.
Also, there seems to be a lot of melancholy self-loathing going on within the Nothing Enterprises columnists (Ed. Note: site now defunct), and for once, it doesn�t come from me. Not too long ago, another friend dealing with a breakup mentioned Chasing Amy as the film she was watching the most lately because it ends realistically, meaning that it doesn�t end all hunky-dory for everyone. Figuring I�d be an expert on these types of films for some reason, she asked me for some recommendations for similar fare. I complied. And now I pass my list on to you, the lovelorn. Have fun being bitter.
Movies Besides Chasing Amy That Mirror Your Hollow Life:
- Brazil � He not only loses the girl, he loses his mind as well.
- Evil Dead II � No girlfriend, no hand, and no car. No problem.
- Miller�s Crossing � From all the effort this guy puts into getting the girl, it totally figures that it doesn�t work.
- Carlito�s Way � Warning! If you haven�t seen this before, you must � MUST � fast-forward the tape for the first seven minutes. Trust me.
- Return of the Living Dead � �Tina, if you really loved me, you�d let me eat your brain.� Tina, as it turns out, does not love him.
- Sid and Nancy � No explanation needed.
- Swimming With Sharks � From the opening monologue: �There are stories of love inspiring success over the most insurmountable of odds. This is not one of those stories.�
- Leaving Las Vegas � �I�d rather have a bottle in front of me, than have to have a frontal lobotomy. I might be drunk, but at least I�m not insane.�
- Barton Fink � Even though he still gets head. (Rimshot!)
- The Waterdance � Comes with the added bonus of laughing at cripples.
- Vampire�s Kiss � A film about how it�s probably best to let them go.
Other notables: Salvador, Six Degrees of Separation, Blood Simple and The Shining.
You�re welcome.
