The Monkey King's Used Primate Emporium and Book Reviews

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Bunny Yeager, �Betty Page Confidential�

Started August 8 � Finished August 8, 2003; 128 pages. Posted 11 August 2003

Let me make this perfectly clear. I did not have relations with this woman. Though I suppose I need not protest too much as the filing date has come and gone, so it looks like I�ll have to take the government by force. In other words, it�s back to the original plan.

Though in the day-and-a-half since I announced my candidacy, I raised $231.00 toward my filing fee. I probably could have raised more, but the power was out at my communications center. Now considering Gray Davis� leadership is blamed for the rolling blackouts, I personally think this stinks more than a Florida recount. Davis was obviously scared of my candidacy and made some calls.

Two hundred and thirty one dollars! And that�s just from people who automatically pledged. There were others that wanted instructions on how to send contributions, received too late. There�s only one thing I can say to such an outpouring of support:

You people will vote for anyone, won�t you?

But it is customary for a concession speech in these matters. Since I don�t pay attention to customary practices, I�ll just crib other people�s lines.

Four score and seven years ago, rumors of my death have been greatly exaggerated. We must guard against the acquisition of unwarranted influence, whether sought or unsought, by the military industrial complex. Not a Pax Americana. And so, at noon tomorrow, I will resign. You don�t need to get snippy about it. May God forgive me for what I have unleashed upon this earth. You won�t have Dean Carrico to kick around any longer. It�s gotta be the shoes.

One question � when, if ever, did Betty Page exhale? Who cares! It�s Betty Page!


Rating: Worth used.

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