The Monkey King's Used Primate Emporium and Book Reviews

previous - next - random review

Frank Miller, �Hard Boiled�

Started April 13 � Finished April 13, 2004; 128 pages. Posted 29 April 2004

Let�s update on the paranoia, shall we? I broke my Muppet show watch last night, but I don�t think that was the terrible thing I was sure would happen, as I broke it during sex. And no, I wasn�t fucking my watch.

The other thing that happened is my roommate was ambushed by a roving pack of dogs this morning. I�m absolutely serious. Apparently, Rich took his bike out the front door and then had to use it to fend off the two pit bulls going for his throat. BJ and his girlfriend helped chase them off.

I also don�t think this had anything to do with my premonition yesterday, as if the dogs were waiting for me, they should�ve known I wouldn�t be leaving the house at six in the morning. Besides, anybody versed in PTL lore (which I�m guessing would be about three of you) should know that pit bulls have a serious and valid beef with Rich.

Anyhoo...

The other day, The Girlfriend and I watched Sam Raimi�s Darkman. Don�t ask me why, I can�t remember myself, even though it�s my copy. Aside from the line, �Take it! Take the fucking rabbit!� the movie is pretty damn bad.

I got my copy a loooooooong time ago, I believe at a flea market, for five bucks. I had already seen it, and even at that young age, I knew it wasn�t very good. But it was Sam Raimi, and I love Evil Dead, so I bought it. Now, with the possibility of having to pack up my stuff quickly and head across the country, I think I have WAY too much stuff.

It hit me today when this guy sold 35 different DVD�s to the store. All of these films were crap, most of which I wouldn�t think anybody would want to see once, much less own a copy of. This guy must have realized that, as he sold them all to us, probably at a 70 percent loss.

I blame boredom and proximity to my own collecting habits � I used to live across the street from a liquor/video store and I bought way too much of their stock from both aisles. But at least I don�t have to move all the beer from place to place whenever I move.

And now I�m at a bookstore. And this book from Frank Miller comes in, and I like Frank Miller. So I buy it, and it turns out to be pretty lame. I like violence as much as the next shut-in, but I really got tired of this very quickly. Story lines were relegated to a passing interest in favor for a two-page spreadsheet �Groo� style showing all kinds of depravity. The artist was the same guy who illustrated Marshal Law, so if you�ve seen that, you�ve seen this.

And so now I�m wondering � I didn�t really like this, should I really keep it? And speaking of keeping things, do I need to keep all of these hardbacks of Stephen King? I have them because 70 percent of them were free, but I didn�t really like 70 percent of them either. Why cart 70 pounds of Stephen King novels I didn�t like across the country?

And why keep all these shitty Kerouac books and bad Bukowski poetry? Before I wanted them as a badge of honor, a tribute that I can preserver over the most mundane literary crap, but really � who the fuck cares? This is really nothing more than a further sign that I�m WAY too much of a rat-packer.

And no, that doesn�t mean that I pack rats.

I don�t have an answer to all of this yet. As for now, I�m keeping the Frank Miller book. But Darkman? It�s going in the trash.


Rating: Worth not throwing in the trash. Yet.

previous - next - random review