The Monkey King's Used Primate Emporium and Book Reviews

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Noam Chomsky and Edward S. Herman, �The Washington Connection and Third World Fascism: The Political Economy of Human Rights: Volume 1�

Started May 3 � Finished May 6, 2004; 453 pages. Posted 24 May 2004

I don�t know if you heard about bell hooks, that bulwark against oppression, the voice of the voiceless, the champion of women�s and minority rights, honorary member of NWA, the woman too hardcore to capitalize the first letters of her name because that shows subservience to THE MAN (though we�ll neglect to mention that cracker e.e. cummings at this point). After finishing 20-odd books on the injustices of the American system, bell hooks recently finished a self-help book on relationships.

Chomsky could take a cue from this. He�s the most quoted figure in academia, why not branch out to the late night talk show circuit? I can hear Dan and Drew now, talking to some 14 year-old girl who�s afraid she may be pregnant because she recently did some freak dancing and is scared her boyfriend might break up with her.

�Well honey,� say the hosts, �Chomsky said in his latest book, �Furthering Mutual Ideology in a Patriarchal Society Governed by the Cadre� that, and I�m quoting here, �One way to consummate a consanguinity in a neoteric epoch for interdependent contentedness involves a reciprocal approach to the performance of oral delectation.� That�s really all you need in this situation.�

�Uh,� says the caller, �can I give a shout out to my homies?�

Okay, maybe it�s not such a good idea.

Chomsky books aside, especially since this is only volume one, I�m in a great mood! My sickness is gone, I had oysters and beers today, it�s been a great day off, and I actually have enough money to pay my bills and go out! And where should I go, you ask? Why, I�m going to see the Fleshies and Alice Fucking Donut! There�s only one thing that I need, and those of you who have been reading over the past few days can probably guess what it is.

That�s right. I need a monkey. But you thought I was gonna get all mopey about The (ex)Girlfriend, didn�t you?


Rating: Worth working in a used bookstore and getting for cheap.

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