Noam Chomsky and Edward S. Herman, �The Washington Connection and Third World Fascism: The Political Economy of Human Rights: Volume 1�
I don�t know if you heard about bell hooks, that bulwark against oppression, the voice of the voiceless, the champion of women�s and minority rights, honorary member of NWA, the woman too hardcore to capitalize the first letters of her name because that shows subservience to THE MAN (though we�ll neglect to mention that cracker e.e. cummings at this point). After finishing 20-odd books on the injustices of the American system, bell hooks recently finished a self-help book on relationships.
Chomsky could take a cue from this. He�s the most quoted figure in academia, why not branch out to the late night talk show circuit? I can hear Dan and Drew now, talking to some 14 year-old girl who�s afraid she may be pregnant because she recently did some freak dancing and is scared her boyfriend might break up with her.
�Well honey,� say the hosts, �Chomsky said in his latest book, �Furthering Mutual Ideology in a Patriarchal Society Governed by the Cadre� that, and I�m quoting here, �One way to consummate a consanguinity in a neoteric epoch for interdependent contentedness involves a reciprocal approach to the performance of oral delectation.� That�s really all you need in this situation.�
�Uh,� says the caller, �can I give a shout out to my homies?�
Okay, maybe it�s not such a good idea.
Chomsky books aside, especially since this is only volume one, I�m in a great mood! My sickness is gone, I had oysters and beers today, it�s been a great day off, and I actually have enough money to pay my bills and go out! And where should I go, you ask? Why, I�m going to see the Fleshies and Alice Fucking Donut! There�s only one thing that I need, and those of you who have been reading over the past few days can probably guess what it is.
That�s right. I need a monkey. But you thought I was gonna get all mopey about The (ex)Girlfriend, didn�t you?