The Monkey King's Used Primate Emporium and Book Reviews

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Isak Dinesen, �Anecdotes of Destiny and Ehrengard�

Started August 24 � Finished August 24, 2004; 277 pages. Posted 08 October 2004

And thus begins the third, and probably final, trip to Kaua�i.

Truth is, after writing about a trip to this island twice before, I�m a little burned out on it, hence why it�s taken me nearly a month to get to it. But, I did finish 25 books while I was there between August 24 through September 9, so I gotta write about something. I was hoping The Girlfriend would write about the trip, but that never happened. If she wants to interject something, she�s welcome to.

Anyway.

My shelf at work for holding books that I want is back to the breaking point after I showed tremendous restraint for three months. What I needed was a vacation. A LONG vacation. After all, the longer I was there, the more books I could finish, as I wasn�t being interrupted by work. More important, I would be away from the books, meaning I wouldn�t find all sorts of things that I wanted.

I aimed high: I would be gone for 16 days. The alphabet has 26 letters. I wasn�t about to do the math, but picking out the books that lay waiting on my shelf in a sequence by letter, seemed possible. 26 books. 16 days. Drinking out of pineapples. It all seemed doable.

I started to collect my books. I had 19 of the 26 titles I needed. But there were still some gaps. I didn�t have anything for I didn�t have any books whose title began with G, H, J, K, Q, T, X, or Y. I kept my eyes open during the next week for things I might want to read. Some things would turn up, nut I also had to factor in length. A Steinbeck biography that I had would fit my J requirement, but if I brought it, the time it would take to finish the 1,100 pages would probably mean I wouldn�t get through the entire alphabet.

I found a substitute for J. I hunted down other titles and found things that I was both interested in reading, and fit under the limited scope I was looking for � titles that began with letters that I needed. Finally, I had whittled it down to two letters: Q and Y.

By now I had two days left before my plane flew. I was desperate. My co-workers, none of whom thought I would be able to get through all 26 books anyway, started brainstorming for me. How about Queer by William S. Burroughs? Fucking-A.

With one day left, and only missing the letter Y. I was finally recommended a mystery novel by someone I had never heard of. I looked at the book � it was thin.

It would do.

Twelve hours later, we were waiting on our plane. No time like the present to get started on my books, I thought, and opened this one. A book with nearly 300 pages is kind of a large begin with, but I have a five hour plane ride. I should finish this with no problem. I started reading in the airport bar with a bloody mary in one hand. I was fifty pages though before we had to board our flight.

This would be easy.

(Four hours later)

Holy god, how can the first book I pick be so bad? I would rather watch the guy down the aisle pick his nose (which he�s doing) than continue reading! How the hell am I supposed to finish, when this is so boring?

What I can marvel at is the fact that my poor luck on airlines (as discussed on the previous trip here seems to have been completely nullified by the accompaniment of the Girlfriend. Not only did we get on the flight with no trouble, the one other person in our row voluntarily got up and left, leaving us the entire end row to ourselves!

But of course, the very reason that she�s accompanying me is why my co-workers think I can�t finish the entire alphabet. But she�s not feeling well, and isn�t up for joining a mile-high club. She�s in fact, settled in with knitting and Shrek 2. I return to my book.

It�s gonna be a long flight.


Rating: Worth library prices.

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