The Monkey King's Used Primate Emporium and Book Reviews

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Daniel Clowes, �David Boring�

Started May 2 � Finished May 2, 2005; 136 pages. Posted 29 June 2005

Yeesh. I�ve been out of a band so long that I forgot how much it actually costs to promote these things. Not because of the fliers, which are a dime a dozen (8 cents for three, actually), but because of where you go to dump them off.

Because where do you want to put fliers to get noticed? Used record stores, mostly. I was just stopping in because I needed to get a vinyl repair kit so I could sell off some of my records. Not many of them, mind you, but I have a few I�m willing to get rid of and records are heavy.

So I run into the record store, drop off a pack of fliers, and go searching for the vinyl repair kit. And of course, my eyes wander. Ooh, there�s the Bowie album I�ve wanted to play during the punk rock DJ nights! Finally! And there�s Devo, which I have on CD, but also wanted to play at the bar. And are you gonna say no to $6.00 for the Rock and Roll High School soundtrack? �Cause I�m not.

I decide I need to flee. The idea is to get rid of stuff so I can move, not obtain more things. I head for the front counter. Hmmm. The line is really long right now. As long as I�m going to have to wait�

I walk up the DVD aisle. Wooo, that is a really good price on the Bill Hicks DVD. And holy shit, that�s a great fucking price for Season One of Home Movies!

I juggle all the items in my hand and go back to the counter. I shift my attention to the cute surly girl opening CD cases so I don�t spot anything else I want to buy. I already know I can�t afford her.

Fifty dollars later I�m walking out the front door when I have to stop and grab the clerk�s attention.

�Hey, do you have any of those vinyl repair kits?�

So I have more stuff in my attempt to get rid of things. Me smart. I�m still slowly selling off the books, so I haven�t even begun with the music. With the books, the first rule of deciding to sell was if it sucked, or if I knew I would never open it again. That didn�t make much of a dent. Next to go were things that I knew I could easily find later after I�m rich.

There are still too many books left.

So now it�s more about quality. Did I absolutely fucking love it? Could I not find it again at a moment�s notice if I did let it go? Then I�ll keep it. Maybe.

I don�t have room for mediocre or fair to middling. This Clowes book fits in this category. It started out amazing, and slowly regressed into that �I like big butts and I cannot lie.� song. It was so good at first that I was almost relieved that it didn�t hold up. That�s one less I have to pay to ship over.

And please, people � let�s not start big discussions about, �Oh my God, I�d hate to have to sell my books.� I know how hard it is. I�m going through it right now. I�ve already personally witnessed at least 20 of my books sell again to other people. I almost want to interview them, like they would for people picking up a puppy from the pound before I hand it over.

I�m watching my things � my life � as it gets picked over by vultures. I�m going to assume this is why, over the last few days, my eyes have felt like they�re just barely holding back tears.

But it�s probably just from the marathon watching of the DVD set.

And yes, Klugarsh, I�ll eventually answer your tag. Eventually.


Rating: Worth used, and then worth selling.

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