Greg Cox, �Daredevil: The Official Movie Novelization�
I suppose it�s about time that I talk about the new job, working at the dance club in Hawaii in my new capacity as bartender. And I guess I could tell about doing my first takedown, forgetting what the hell something as simple as a screwdriver was after making all the stupid drinks like an Alien Brain, or a Four Horsemen, or a Liquid Cocaine.
But you know, it�s been a long time since I put anything in song. I know, the rule was to do that with Hemingway books, but I finished all of his books that I have, and those didn�t make me want to pick up the two or three I haven�t read yet. So, I might as well do it was something as inconsequential as this book, no?
Yeah, you�re right � no. Tough shit.
So, I picked David Bowie�s �Suffragette City� for the song template. I realize it�s not an easy song to simply read to, particularly since this comes from the Early Mush-mouthed David Bowie, as opposed to the later dance hits when he changed his voice to sound more like he was doing narration for something terribly important. On albums like Ziggy Stardust, Bowie had this gift of changing his inflection to make any word sound like it rhymes.
I should get the same courtesy.
It�ll probably be easiest if you just stop reading, go grab the album and put on the song so you can read along to it. If you don�t have it, well, you�re no friend of mine.
So, allow me to present �My Life as A Bartender in Hawaii at an Alternative Club.� In... Whatever key this is in. Hell, I don�t know, I play drums and I only picked that so I could hit things. Repeatedly. With sticks. So watch it.
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- (hey man) Oh great, here we go, you know
(hey man) Some jerk won�t leave her alone, she wants a
(hey man) She asks for a kiss on her face
But she leaves with the guy she dismissed in the first place
(hey man) My god this music is lame
(hey man) The bathroom�s flooded again
(hey man) That corset�s total bedlam
How she squeezed in it, well she...might be �he...�Oh don�t blame it on me man, �cause you ain�t old enough to drink here
And you�re an amateur drinker
Don�t be mean to me man
Just �cause you can�t hold your liquor
You�re an amateur drinker
Get outta sight... You all right?(hey man) Uh mister, it might be time to go away
(hey man) I served you at least 15 times today
(hey man) Drunkie don�t crash here
You only tipped me once and you�re dumb and no funOh don�t blame it on me man, just �cause now you don�t have cab fare
�Cause you�re an amateur drinker
Oh don�t be mean to me man
�Cause you like overpriced beer
You know you don�t have to drink here
A long night...And all trite He hit me!Oh don�t blame it on me man, �cause I also play the bouncer
And you�re an amateur drinker
And don�t cry to me man
When we throw you down the stairs
We gave you chances to leave here
Don�t whine to me man, �cause you tried to sneak booze in here
And now you�re out on your ear
Your friend is 86�d, man
�Cause he bought that minor liquor
And the cops will soon be here
So say goodnight... Let�s not fight.Ah, amateur drinkers, amateur drinkers
Stop with the weird mixed liquor. How �bout a shot with a beer?
ooo, I�m now getting �the fear�, ooo, No, we don�t have draft beer
Oooh, how can you afford drinks here? You know, the Hideaway�s cheaper.Ohhh...
Aw, man, puked up spam!
Amateur drinkers, Damn pathetic creatures
This all night...
Tourists in beach wear
The swine...
Amateur drinkers, ooh, speed freaks and tweakers
Bad songs on the speakers, you spilled beer on your creepers.This song again...Suck my dick!