The Monkey King's Used Primate Emporium and Book Reviews

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Kevin Smith, �Spider-man/Black Cat: The Evil That Men Do�

Started September 14 � Finished September 14, 2006; 176 pages. Posted 01 January 2007

The nightclub that I worked at for the last year and a half had its last night last night. Wow, my head hurts, and that last sentence, while correct, looks awful. Sort of like me right now.

The owners wanted us to be open, even though it was obvious that we weren�t going to be the draw of all the things going on. Sure, there was a regular clientele and people have allegiance and what not, but we only had a week to plan, and nobody wanted to work.

Actually, that�s not really true, since nearly all the employees showed up. Really, we all had a sense that what with it being New Year�s Eve, we had an obligation to do something but had no interest in being around a bunch of amateur drunks screaming �Whoo!� Every four minutes. Thus, the Anti-New Year�s Eve Party was born. We titled it �Punk-Ass New Year.�

Fortunately I work for a newspaper, and put a column in under the week�s �Hot Picks� saying that we were having no cover, no countdown, no drink specials and a DJ playing bands with no discernable talent. We did, however buy a bunch of Miller High Life to hand out at midnight because it is, after all, �The Champagne of Beers.�

It turned out better than expected. In fact, for the first time the bar made enough to give me a bonus, which I need seeing that the bar now goes into remodeling stage and will be closed for the next month.

When we finished and locked up the joint, the bar manager popped open a bottle of champagne for the two of us and handed me a Monte Cristo cigar. We polished off the bottle between ourselves and smoked for about a half-hour. My plan was to have one more whisky and coke before going over to the other club down the street that was open until 6am and featured lots of people getting spanked.

My boss shook me awake at 8:30 in the morning.

Now I can�t find my phone, I miss my kellybaby, and my head hurts.

Happy New Year.

Playlist for the Final Punk Night.


*This was the midnight song. For those of you not in the know, it�s a seven-minute acoustic medley of Misfits songs, probably covering about 25 or more Misfits sing-along classics. It�s awesome.


Rating: Worth used.

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