Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson, "The Eye in the Pyramid" (Book One of the Illuminatus! Trilogy)
�When did you become so paranoid?�
�When they started plotting against me.�
-Michael Keaton and Randy Quaid in �The Paper�
Okay, I admit it. I like conspiracy theories. I read three works on the JFK assassination alone. Two of my favorite films are Bob Roberts and JFK, both of which slip easily into the paranoid-delusional category. Not that I believe any of the theories presented, but it�s fun to see how people can connect random things in trying to make sense of it all. The best examples are theories that come with a wink and a smile, like noting how Ronald Wilson Reagan is the numerical equivalent to 666. Or if you set your Microsoft Word font to Wingdings and type in �NYC� you get a something that can be read as �Death/Jewish Star/OK!�
In order to make a conspiracy theory sound convincing enough to gain followers, though, it needs to presented as crazy enough to be plausible, sort of like the tales from the Bible. The Illuminati books (so far) have been doing a great job, incorporating enough real events to help spin their tale of paranoia, but relying on our own laziness to do any fact checking to see if it is indeed true. (Much like the other Wingding story that said one of the planes that crashed into the Twin Towers was flight Q33, and, if you then type �Q33NYC� into a Wingding font, it reads as �Plane/two pillars/Death/Jewish Star/OK!� Neat! One problem though � there was no flight Q33 in the air on Sept. 11.)
This book is a special case for the bookstore. We now shelve it under Metaphysics instead of Science Fiction, even though it says �Science Fiction� on the spine. We moved it because we got sick of angry people coming up to the counter screaming how this doesn�t belong in the fantasy section because IT�S ALL TRUE! This usually involves a long-winded crazy diatribe that inevitably leads to not-so-veiled hints about the whereabouts of Elvis Presley. Don�t laugh, I�m being serious. We�ve also had to move some New Age hippie author whose name escapes me at the moment to science. We�ve shuffled various witchcraft books between Wicca and Christian a dozen times, depending on which faction complains. We�ve held fast on not moving any of the UFO books into the history section, however, though it has been requested/demanded.
All the elements for a good conspiracy theory are in abundance in this book, hence why people probably buy into it. (Again, just like the Bible.) It�s all done with a wink and a smile and the authors don�t take themselves seriously. The best example of this comes near the end from an appearance of a book reviewer who complains about his newest assignment. �It starts as a detective story, switches to science-fiction, then goes off into the supernatural, and is full of the most detailed information of dozens of ghastly boring subjects,� he says. After a few more comments he notes, �Worst yet, it has the most raunchy sex scenes, thrown in just to make it sell, I�m sure, and the authors [...] have the supreme bad taste to introduce real political figures into this mishmash and pretend to be exposing a real conspiracy.�
In other words, they�ve just described �The Eye in the Pyramid.� They�re making fun of their own book.
Still, the whole thing IS almost crazy enough to be believed, and there are points that would explain things for those who are desperately seeking answers. You can almost see how some of these freaks that come into the store take the work so seriously. Example: When a new recruit asks why the Illuminati would carry out executions of leaders of nations they already control, the answer is simple � it results in more stringent security measures that are accepted by a frightened populace. More surveillance. No-knock laws and stop-and-frisk laws for the police. Automatic fingerprinting. Three Strikes. International Identity Cards. Detention camps for potential subversives. Restrictions on travel. Any of these seem familiar?
And actually, here�s something to chew on. Remember that this was first published in 1975. There is a repeated emphasis on events of tragedy, assassinations and deaths of important figures being carried out on the 23rd, but it�s much too detailed to try and explain here. Take my word for it. Think about this: We all know what happened on Sept. 11, 2001. Let�s use some simple math (because I wouldn�t be able to perform on a mathematical level much higher than that).
11 * 2 + 0 + 0 + 1 = 23.
If that seems too convenient, how about this: September is the ninth month. 9 + 11 + 2 + 0 +0 + 1 = 23. Or how about this:
11 � 9 = 2.
2 + 0 + 0 +1 = 3
Now put those answers next to each other.
Cue Lightning and Thunder.
Tense Music Swells.
Fade Out.
