The Monkey King's Used Primate Emporium and Book Reviews

previous - next - random review

Abbie Hoffman, "Woodstock Nation"

Started June 12 � Finished June 12, 2002; 154 pages. Posted 14 June 2002

Jesus Christ.

This is the hundredth book I�ve read this year. This year! 100 books! Holy hell! That just seems psychotic to me for some reason.

And of course, it�s funny that the book I read for this momentous occasion happens to be from a guy who, if he were alive, would probably slap me and tell me to do something more productive. But of course, Hoffman is from another era. A 60s radical hippie who hated hippies, Hoffman did a lot of shit to shake up the establishment. Part of it was to draw attention to the system, but I think a lot of it was to get him laid. He certainly brings that point up enough.

The energy and vigor he uses when he talks about the political atmosphere that he was experiencing almost makes me romanticize the situation, but I�m not going to. If there were an Abbie Hoffman of the 21st century, it�s unlikely he/she would get any press at all. The radical left has dissipated in its own mediocrity and radical protests have been reduced to slogan shouting. Even when a significant event happens, like this week�s judgment of 4.5 million dollars against the FBI to environmental hippie chick Judi Barry, the article gets buried on page 32, behind Star Wars, Spider-man and Oprah Winfrey�s new prime time show.

Much as I would like to blame society, it can�t absorb all the finger pointing. Those who do go out to protest have been fossilized for at least 15 years, and they�re a former caricature of themselves. I remember 10 years ago (shit, I can�t believe it was that long ago...) when the Gulf War was just about to happen � I went to the San Jose Federal Building to protest the coming war, bringing flyers that detailed the United States involvement with dictators � everybody from Adolph Hitler to Saddam Hussein � just to try and provide a little focus to the discussion. To use an over-used slogan, �Those who do not remember the past are condemned to repeat it.�

The hippies that were out in force were furious with me. Basically, all they wanted me to do was to join them in singing, �give peace a chance.� They kept trying to take my flyers away saying, �we don�t want to stir any trouble, we just want to make a statement.�

�Well,� I said, �Here�s my statement: Fuck you, hippie. All the handholding in the world isn�t going to convince Joe. T. Fratboy across the street of anything except for the fact that you need to take a shower.�

They didn�t like that.

For the next week, these so-called defenders of democracy tried to block me from having an opinion. They tried to take my literature surreptitiously so they could throw it away. They tried to keep me from speaking to others. They tried to keep me from entering their line.

This was the liberal side. Pffffft.

Finally, I spent all the time on the pro-war side because as much as I hate to say it, they were more willing to have a discussion rather then having a monosyllabic mantra about how war was bad. I finally stopped showing up at all because the jocks decided to stop coming and since the hippies wouldn�t listen to me, there was nobody to have a discussion with.

I bring all of this up because Abbie Hoffman would probably start punching those hippies. (Side note: My new favorite quote comes from Hoffman, which reads: �It always puzzled me why the good guys always were the pacifists.�) However, some of the same old hippies still show up occasionally in front of the same federal building to protest whatever we happen to be invading at the moment.

They are out in force lately, to protest our coming invasion of Iraq (and if you don�t think it�s coming, I have some literature to share with you). But the great thing is, one particularly sharp friend of mine has been showing up along with them, dressed in full hippie regalia, brandishing a sign that reads �Killing Is No Big Deal.�

The rest of the crowd is furious at him. I think Abbie would have loved it. I know I do, except for one thing � I didn�t think of it first.


Rating: Worth Used Prices.

previous - next - random review