The Monkey King's Used Primate Emporium and Book Reviews

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Dante Alighieri, "The Divine Comedy"

Started June 25 � Finished June 27, 2002; 189 pages. Posted 27 June 2002

Plain and simple and without a doubt, this is a perfect example of my hubris at work. This book was one of those things that you always hear about and is referenced everywhere, so I decided it was time to see what the fuss was about.

I started it on Tuesday, thinking that even though this was an oversized book, it was a measly 189 pages and that included full-page illustrations. I figured I�d breeze right through it.

The Divine Comedy is not something you can just breeze through.

I�ll give a little confession as well: I read the first book of The Divine Comedy, "Inferno," while reading Cliffs Notes on the text at the same time. I used to be very anti-Cliffs Notes, thinking they a cheaper version of Reader�s Digest condensed books. Of course, I had made that conclusion without ever looking at the supplement guides. And that�s what they are — guides. I don�t think anybody could simply read these alone and make any sense of the works they speak about, though I�m sure several people have tried.

Last year I had a course that required reading of Shakespeare�s King Lear so I checked out the Cliffs Notes just for the hell of it, and couldn�t believe how much it helped. For things written in dead languages, reading these along with the text make everything so much clearer. I still wouldn�t use them for normal fiction or for things like The Autobiography of Malcolm X, but for things like this Cliffs Notes are a godsend.

But apparently, the only part from The Divine Comedy that people are required to read is "Inferno," because I could not find supplements for "Purgatoroio" and "Paradiso" at any store downtown. So if I missed some crucial point along the way, you�ll have to excuse me. Dante makes repeated references in passing to individuals and governments of the 1300s, and without the explanatory text all I can do is shake my head, say "Duuuuuuhhhh" out loud, and press on.

Really, though, it�s no wonder people only read "Inferno," as it�s the most interesting. Isn�t it always that way? Sins are more interesting than virtue, as anybody who reads Arlette�s journal can attest to.

The storyline of Dante�s Comedy (and if I can be allowed yet another tangent, what the hell is with everybody calling him Dante? Dante is his first name. Normally, authors of reverence are distinguished by being recognizable by their last names, out of respect. Do people feel comfortable calling this long dead Eye-tie by his first name out of familiarity, or is it just because he has a totally unpronounceable last name?)

Anyway, the plot involves a fever dream stranger than any that I can remember, even after a half-gallon of whiskey. He takes a walking tour through Hell, Purgatory, and Heaven, with the poet Virgil as his guide through Hell and most of Purgatory, but Dante (oh sorry, Alighieri ends up getting ditched before they reach Heaven.

Frankly, I don�t blame Virgil for taking off. Alighieri ... oh fuck it, Dante spends most of his time in Hell fainting from shock, and his jaunt through Purgatory with Dante is like babysitting a three-year-old who asks "Why?" about everything. Virgil finally tells Dante that he isn�t allowed to accompany him any further, but really it sounds more like he�s saying, "Oh, shit, I think I left the oven on! Uh, I�ll catch up with you later."

Dante finally reaches Heaven, which consists mostly of angels acting like they�re on the local high school cheerleading team, spelling out letters on the football field in the sky and making shapes out of their bodies to form things like a bird and a rose.

This is supposed to be incentive for living a virtuous life — the chance to join the spirit squad in the sky? Gee, thanks, but I was never into team sports anyway.

Really, though, this is an extremely political novel for its time. Dante (from what the Cliffs Notes told me) inserted various figures of philosophy and politics of his day, though he stuck most of them in Hell. Must be kind of fun to take the people you dislike and put them in the lower circles of Hell, though methinks this may break some of the rules against pride and vanity.

For the most part, though, this book ("Inferno" in particular, but overall throughout the entire poem) reminded me of the biggest reason why I don�t go to church, or even hold much interest in religion: I don�t like being threatened. And Dante�s version of what is punishable is so all-inclusive that there is no way I will have high enough test scores to get into their institution.

See you in the lower circles.


Rating: Worth working in a used bookstore and getting for really cheap.

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