The Monkey King's Used Primate Emporium and Book Reviews

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Jacob Aranza, �Backward Masking Unmasked � Backward Satanic Messages of Rock and Roll Exposed�

Started September 13 � Finished September 14, 2002; 124 pages. Posted 16 September 2002

Oh my god.

With the exception of Tom Robbins, Tom Tomorrow, and that Red Meat book of cartoons, I don�t think I�ve read anything this funny all year. Written in 1983 at the height of the Tipper Gore/PMRC/Satan Rock era, Aranza repeatedly shows how out of touch he is with reality, but pretends like he�s an expert on the subject. Examples:

Other bands to watch out for are the standards like Black Sabbath, Iron Maiden, and Ozzy Osborne, plus bands like Fleetwood Mac, David Bowie, Janis Joplin, and AC/DC.

No big surprise, right? Well, the list goes on. The Bee Gees. Eric Clapton. Adam and the Ants. Allen Parsons Project. The Beatles. America. Bette Midler. Eric Clapton. John Denver. The Captain and Tennille...

The Captain and Tennille?

Yep, they are the pawns of Satan. You wanna know why?

They�re vegetarians.

Heeheehee! Whoo! It takes less than three pages before you can figure out that Aranza hasn�t heard any of these bands, and it takes even less for you to figure out that he knows absolutely nothing about their songs or lyrics. He misquotes, he gets the lyrics wrong, he takes statements by some artists who are obviously warning about the dangers of drugs, and twists the meaning to make it sound like they�re advocating drug use. He also talks about a record burning ceremony they conducted in Waco Texas, which got me wondering — I know David Koresh liked to listen to rock music. Could Janet Reno be taking the fall for some other nut?

But as funny as this is, it�s a little scary for a couple of reasons. One, I got this from the store, which means that somebody bought this in the first place, and they probably thought Aranza is credible. The final chapter does the standard confession of his former wayward life as a child, saying he was angry and drug use was on the rise around him, though he certainly doesn�t seem to have any knowledge about drugs. (At one point he says that people around him were snorting THC — which as far as I know, is something you can�t do? Is that right?)

Anyhoo, he went from one crutch and addiction — his devil rock music and a lifestyle involving drugs and booze — straight into another: the crutch of Christ. Funny thing is, he�s proud of it.

But more frightening is the fact that he got an introduction penned by then State Senator Bill Keith from Louisiana. Kieth takes him perfectly seriously, saying that Aranza has done the public �a great service.�

I�m still hoping he meant something about laughter being the best medicine.

The back of the book says arraignments can be made to have Aranza speak at your church or function. I say we get him to speak at the next show at Gilman Street.


Rating: Worth tracking down Aranza, pretending to be a poor mother, and requesting a free copy.

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