J.R.R. Tolkien , �The Two Towers�
Boo and hiss all you like at me for reading this. I had never read the series before and I decided about three years back that I probably should. Then I heard about Peter Jackson doing the films and knew that I HAD to read these. I also had to read them before the movie came out. So I did � I read The Fellowship of the Ring about eight months before the movie was released ... and decided I didn�t really give a shit about hobbits. Eh, there were parts of the book that I liked, but a lot of it bored the crap out of me.
My friend Fern had seen me reading this and was eagerly awaiting my reaction, for some reason. So when I told her that a lot of it was pretty goddamn boring, she told me to read The Hobbit. So I did, and I did like that one better (perhaps because it�s geared more for children, no?), but it didn�t make me want to rush back and read the Fellowship book. Also, it made those people that hand around in malls wearing �Frodo Lives!� T-shirts that much more annoying, if that�s possible.
But then the movie came out. I got invited to go to the opening night � no, that�s actually incorrect; I was invited to the opening morning showing, held at midnight on Wednesday (Thursday, to be accurate, but you know what I mean). They had problems getting everybody into the theater, despite the fact that it was being shown on seven different screens, so the movie didn�t start until 1:30 in the morning, and you know how long that movie is.
But I didn�t care. The Fellowship of the Ring is the pinnacle example of a movie being better than a book in my opinion, which is the only one that matters. The film just moved a hell of a lot better than the book. And suddenly, I was excited to read the last two parts in the series. But I didn�t want to start on the book right away, for reasons that stemmed from my own pompous behavior.
We kept getting people who would come into the store, people who probably hadn�t read a book in the last five goddamn years, who were now swarming in to ask if we had any of �those books by that guy who wrote about the hobbits.� (And I think it�s fascinating that my spell-check recognizes the word �hobbits.�) Meanwhile, the release of The Two Towers loomed.
So I finally reached a point where I felt a comfortable time had passed and the hype had died down, before I got the chance to read the book. I liked it. Still, I think I�m going to like the movie more, and I can�t wait to see what characters like Treebeard are going to look like on screen.
And let�s end with a Matty Luv anecdote, since I just got back from the three-day San Francisco whirlwind tour for his funeral. I was planning to make it four days, but I was simply too tired to drag my ass down to a train station late Thursday night. Instead, I went to the Caravan and drank. A lot.
When Alex called me the next morning, screaming into my answering machine that he was going to be at my house in ten minutes, I scrambled to get ready. Friday was the viewing, which I knew his family would be at. Despite the potential square-ness,* I decided that I needed to change out of my cut-off shorts into some pants that looked fairly decent. I was still digging through my clothes when Alex pulled up.
I grabbed the only pants that seemed clean. As it happened, these were my funeral pants, meaning they are the only pair that I have that matches my suit, which I only wear to funerals. I swear I threw a second pair of pants into my bag before I left, but when I decided it was safe to change into something more comfortable, I discovered there was nothing in there except a shirt, four books, and my toothbrush.
So for three days, I wandered around SF in my dress pants that cost some ungodly amount. At some point during the wake today I happened to glance down, only to see that the crotch had ripped open, along with my boxers, and my genitalia was in very immediate danger of taking a dip in a plate full of potato salad and cigarette butts.
For some reason, I thought that was appropriate.
*Matty is best-known for his song, �Make sure there aren�t any squares at my funeral.� You�re welcome.
