The Onion Staff, �Dispatches From the Tenth Circle - The Best of The Onion�
I know, the last time I reviewed a collection by The Onion, I was a little disappointed. There was too much redundancy, particularly with the stories which essentially repeated the headlines and beat the joke to death.
In addition, that last collection was attempting to chronicle the last 100 years, and sometimes they just seemed to run out of ideas. This collection represents things that are much more recent, and I can now say that I want to join their staff.
There are some really funny things here, both in the political vein and with things that are trying to shock the hell out of everybody. Let me just give some of the headlines away.
- Congress Passes Freedom From Information Act
- Columbine Jocks Safely Resume Bullying
- Raped Environment Led Polluters On, Defense Attorneys Argue
- Dolphins Evolve Opposable Thumbs: "Oh, Shit," Says Humanity
- Fun Toy Banned Because Of Three Stupid Dead Kids
- God Answers Prayers Of Paralyzed Little Boy: �No,� Says God
There�s just so much that agrees with my warped little mind. Besides, how can you not like a magazine that has a jump promotion saying, �Hulk Smash � Page 4B�?
So I just got the graduation commencement announcement in the mail today, and unless I get accepted to another school for my Masters, I�ll need to get a real job soon. And The Onion seems to be one of the few papers left where I would actually be able to do honest journalism.
This is especially true right now, as you don�t even need to make up things that are totally ridiculous. I always forget to keep checking the Web site, so I don�t know if they�ve already used these ideas, but I�ve thought up headlines for stories: Consider this my resume.
- Bush: �We must destroy the U.N. in order to save it�
- Thousands of rednecks relieved for easy answer on why to hate the French
- Catholics fail to see connection between desire to outlaw abortion and record child molestation charges
- Anne Heche to sleep with men to protest the war.
- Kim Jong Il nukes Iraq in desperate bid to get attention
So, does anybody have any connections?
