The Monkey King's Used Primate Emporium and Book Reviews

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Michae Ondaatje, et al (editors), �Lost Classics�

Started December 17 � Finished December 22, 2003; 297 pages. Posted 02 January 2004

Another gift to me by Hot Professor who still brings visions of Van Halen�s �Hot for Teacher� video, even though I�ve never seen her strip off her dowdy school-marm uniform to reveal a tiny bikini underneath.

Yet.

When she gave me this book, I looked over the 74 authors who provide their recommendations for books you probably have missed — all of which I had never read myself, and in more places had never heard of. I shook the book at her, asking, �Do you know how much trouble this can get me into?�

I guess I didn�t need to worry. These pieces, originally intended for a short piece in a magazine, are not long enough to go into any sort of detail. This served two purposes, namely that I didn�t care if I read the books suggested, and as an added bonus, I didn�t feel the need to read works by the essay themselves. So perhaps Hot Professor was really trying to help me after all.

Now if she�d only help me while wearing a swimsuit.

Really, I can�t believe how surprisingly dull most of these essays were. Ask anybody on the street what their favorite book is, and if they�re not too busy asking you for change, I bet their responses would be more interesting. Perhaps it was because the authors were asked to comment on a �Lost Classic� that made the material so dry — the authors had to pick a book to write about that was obscure, overlooked, or unavailable.

I thought about my own favorite books, and many of them are not only readily available, but also fairly mainstream. The Grapes of Wrath, The Sirens of Titan, A Confederacy of Dunces, Youth in Revolt, One Flew Over the Cuckoo�s Nest, 1984, Songs of the Doomed, Watership Down, Jitterbug Perfume, The Jungle, To Kill a Mockingbird, Franny and Zooey, White Noise, The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, Animal Farm, The Stand — most of these are titles I don�t need to list the author � everybody knows who wrote these already.

And so another thought came up as I tried to read these essays mdash; what the hell am I doing this for? As far as I know, only one girl bought a book based on my suggestion — and she didn�t like the book. It�s like how I have a subscription to Game Informer magazine, I do read the reviews, and once I bought a game based upon their high recommendation — and didn�t really care for it.

I�m still mystified by the art of blogging, mostly because I�ve seen so many poorly written ones, so I�m almost freaked out when people start talking to me about things I�ve written. This would be easier to understand if it were all amongst good friends, but I�ve had people I barely know who have read what I�ve written.

But again, aside from that one girl, I don�t think my recommendations have affected any sales. So you people are reading this, why? Just killing time at work? Waiting for the next time I get beat up? So you can sell information when I start my political career (if I don�t get that boat...)

I suppose it doesn�t matter, because apparently I�m more entertaining that these 74 authors. So thanks!

Now buy me a boat!


Rating: Worth hanging out with a Hot Professor for.

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