Carl Jung, �Dreams�
[Ed. note: This is part seven of an experiment to see if drinking while writing will make me more charming, funnier, and the best dancer in the world. The experiment begins here.]
Question: If a book on dreams makes you go to sleep, will you learn anything?
Answer: Shut up and go back to bed.
Arrrgh! This was a totally frustrating book. I was fine not analyzing my dreams a long time ago, content that I had unusual dreams, and that was probably induced by Newcastle and Tabasco sauce.
But then I started dating one girl (not to be confused with the current girlfriend, as this girl was crazy, and my current girlfriend is not crazy � not yet anyway), and she started talking about Jungian psychology. It was interesting and I checked out a couple of books to find out more.
But I work in a goddamn bookstore, so I see titles that are a little more rare or eclectic. I could have stopped with Man and his Symbols, but no, I had to keep getting other books by Jung.
Like this one.
This book has the subheading reading, �Crucial Texts on the Meaning of Dreams by one of the Greatest Minds of Our Time.� In other words, it�s a collection of other books, but it�s a crappy collection. Instead of spending ...
[Side Tangent � I just answered the phone, only to have a telemarketer offer me a million dollars in insurance for accidental death. When I told her that my death was going to be entirely intentional and would occur in about four hours, she got off the phone in a hurry. I love telemarketers.]
Okay, instead of spending any amount of time describing the patient�s dreams, fears, or history, this book subjects you to summary after summary of a dream along the lines of, �The dreamer finds himself with his father, mother, and sister in a very dangerous situation on the platform of a tram-car.� The book then follows with an analysis that wouldn�t make sense to anybody but the dreamer.
It�s all very confusing, very convoluted, and very, very dull.
Kinda like most dreams.
Actually, that�s not true. I�ve had some great dreams, and I�ve even analyzed some of them. But over the last year or so, my dreams have stopped following any kind of id archetype or symbolism, and instead feature guest stars. I�m not kidding. It�s almost like my dreams have been 70s cop shows.
Dean�s psychosis � In Color! Tonight�s guest star: John Cleese, in the episode, �Wow, That Was a Weird Dream About Work.�
Still, after reading this, I can�t help but think the former girlfriend read these in hopes to feel less crazy than she actually was. I wonder what Jung would say about somebody who decided she was sick of seeing all the bad stuff that happened in the world and tried to blind herself.
By staring into a light bulb.
My guess is he�d tell her to stop being such a drama queen.
And by the way, to the girlfriend, in case I hadn�t said it enough � thank you for being sane.
- Beer consumed: Five.
- Cigarettes smoked: Nine.
- Trips to the bathroom: Three.
- Specifics that I actually remember about the book: Here and there.
