Dave Eggers, �You Shall Know Our Velocity!�
Jesus wept, this took fucking forever before somebody finally sold a copy to the store. I�ve been waiting since 2002. Then, after I get it, a guy comes into the store looking for any Eggers in hardback. We don�t.
It turns out that this guy was a bookseller, and he was collecting Eggers stuff, as he was doing a booksigning the next week. We started talking about A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius, and I told him I was just about to start this book.
�Which one do you have?� he asked me. I told him I had the trade paperback.
�Oh, do you know the difference between that and the hardback?�
�Um... one is a hardback and the other isn�t?�
�No. Well, yes. But don�t you know the difference?�
�I just said...�
�No, the hardback that was put out by McSweeney�s, Eggers publishing company was the first one. Then it came out in paperback, and he added 50 pages of new stuff. And you know how he wasn�t letting chain stores carry his book? Well, when the third paperback came out under Vintage publishing, he took out 25 pages, and added 25 more. So there�s basically three versions of the book, and they�re all great.�
I looked at my copy when I got home, and the copyright page says, �Previously retitled as Sacrament� and �This paperback edition includes significant changes and additions.�
You know, I don�t have time to reread any of my other books, books I�d actually like to reread. I look at my shelves at home, and considering how crappy I�ve been feeling over the last couple of days, reading Mother Night seems like a nice idea, though I�m not sure I want to think about the dissolution of my own �Nation of Two.�
There are other books I�d like to read again as well. Salinger is pretty much required for people in my situation. Treasure of the Sierra Madre. The Narnia series. I can't tell you how many times I picked up To Kill a Mockingbird. But I�m fixated on catching up, for whatever reason, partly because I�m close to actually having an empty hold shelf at work, which hasn�t happened in two years.
The point is, I don�t have time right now to read his book two more times. Not that they�ve come into the store anyway, but Christ, man!
Anyway, the whole concept of releasing three altered versions has a whiff of pomposity to it. These books ain�t cheap, but he wants us to shell out money for each new version, when it�s really only about 18 percent different from the last one?
He could have released a supplement, as my statistics instructor did, which you had to buy because some of her problems were incorrect. So basically, in addition to an $80 book, you had to buy an eight dollar supplement, find the corresponding pages, and staple the correct pages over the incorrect ones.
Of course, that really pissed me off, so I suppose that isn�t such a good idea after all.
I learned from my tenure as Editor in Chief at De Anza that there was a certain point where you had to say, �that�s good enough for now.� I fought that rule longer than any one else on the staff, often holding back other editors with a bat as I reworked sections — usually for stories that were not my own. Eventually, I would capitulate. And when the paper came back from the printer, if I found something that could have been said better, it never occurred to me to run the article again with said changes.
That�s actually how I feel about the idea of three versions of this book. If he found a spelling error or an inaccuracy, sure, change it for the next edition. But to insert entire new sections in a book that is supposed to take place over seven days? That�s just madness, man. You put the book to bed. Let it go!
And the book is pretty good. It�s not phenomenal, like the way I loved Heartbreaking Work, but it was one of the more enjoyable books I�ve read this year. The story revolves around two characters, Will and Hand, who travel around the world in seven days trying to rid themselves of $32,000. Will, the recipient of the money, doesn�t feel he deserves it, and plots a whirling tour across the globe to give it to people who could use it more than himself.
I can�t say which part of this book is the 50 page addition, but I have my suspicions — and it�s not a good section. It breaks the narrative, and it doesn�t fit with the flow of the book. If I�m right about this, then my point about being good enough under the circumstances is that more poignant.
Of course, not that long ago, The (ex)Girlfriend told me about some stuff that she wished she had put into her essay. I thought it was both extremely cute and fucking sexy that she was still thinking how to improve an essay that won first place in a statewide competition and netted her 200 bucks.
Sigh.
