The Monkey King's Used Primate Emporium and Book Reviews

previous - next - random review

Neil Gaiman and Ed Kramer (editors), �The Sandman: Book of Dreams�

Started Sept 1 � Finished September 3, 2004; 293 pages. Posted 11 October 2004

This is part eighteen of a 25-part story about Hawaii. The story begins here. Part five is located here. Part ten is here. And part fifteen is here. Other parts you'll have to find yourself. So there.
---
And now it�s time to leave our little chicken and crazy person sanctuary to test our will against the raw elements. We have nothing but a tent, a thrift store blanket, and some shitty foam mats that we swiped from my father�s place.

We attempt to stock up on supplies, but can�t get our mind off anything that isn�t already prepackaged and sugary.

Oh, and beer. Lots of beer.

We drive to the other side of the island and set up camp. We�re late, and there isn�t many places where we can set up that won�t be right next to groups with dozens of filthy little kids running wild or hippies who obviously camp here a lot. Finally we pick a spot near a tree and nearer to the road. It�s really all that�s left as it will soon be Labor Day Weekend, and it�s probably only going to get worse.

I picked this campground out of laziness � I didn�t know how other campsites fared against this one, and I knew there was really good snorkel spots here. So I hope it will turn out well, as we�re going to be here for the next day, with the exception of one day when we�ll have to stay at a hostel.

We get the tent sent up, collect or snorkeling gear, and head off to the beach. After walking for a bit, I remember that I left the underwater cameras in the car.

�Forget �em.� The Girlfriend says, �we�re going to be doing a lot of this.�

Tunnels beach, where we�re now snorkeling, has fairly flat waves and a shitload of coral. The tide is fairly low at this point, and we�re barely able to move forward, at some parts having the coral bed less than a foot underneath us.

And in the mean time, we�ve both come to the conclusion that our snorkel equipment sucks. My mask is leaking and the flippers are meant for somebody who�s been the subject of foot binding for the last twenty years. It seems like the only people who would think this gear was any good would be people who used it in a swimming pool for ten or twenty minutes. We, on the other hand, have been in the ocean for over three hours.

If you�ve ever been snorkeling in an area that has fairly rough waves, you might wonder how the fish could stand it as you get knocked around, trying not to get pushed into a jagged edge of rock. You might think that since they are built for living in this atmosphere while we, as humans, have to rent or buy shitty equipment in order to try and not get killed.

It doesn�t take long before you realize this notion isn�t true. The hundreds of fish are getting knocked around just as much as we are as they try and feed on the coral bed. It has to be the equivalent of somebody pulling a plate of food out of reach every time you try to grab something. It�s no wonder that some fish finally decided that this sucks and grew legs.

We finally made it past the shallow parts of coral and the fish are getting bigger. Schools of hundreds of bright yellow fish are directly beneath us, trying to avoid the currents of the waves. Swimming hand-in-hand, we look to our right, and there�s a big fucking sea turtle right next to us.

And the cameras are in the car.

We finally get out of the water, and I can feel my skin already begin to tighten. I�m gonna be sunburned again. It was worth it.

We unpack the rest of our stuff from the car. I open a beer and start reading again while she takes a nap. This is a collection of short stories inspired by Gaiman�s Sandman series, all by authors I�ve never read, as they�re all from the sci-fi/fantasy genre. It seems like more than a few of them we�re already written, and when they were approached about writing a Sandman story, they threw in a sentence where one of the characters happens to walk by and wave.

In fact, reading this collection is kind of like or snorkeling expedition. There�s so many fish in the ocean, you can�t help but notice that a few of them are pretty boring to watch. But there are also a few that are amazing. And then one story, by Barbara Hambly, is so amazing and well written that it�s like how we turned to the right and came face-to-face with a sea turtle.

And that makes the entire trip worth it.


Rating: Worth used.

previous - next - random review