Gary Allen with Larry Abraham, �None Dare Call it Conspiracy�
The communications professor who does lectures on how you should be nice to water and conducts 45-minute seminars on how laughter heals cancer and AIDS suggested we make a serious effort to always look on the bright side of life.
Sure, why the hell not?
It looks like in order to survive I�ll be taking out another small-ish loan in order to continue payments on the bigger loans. This means my skills of filling out endless forms can only move up, and I learn the various intricacies of debt management! Neat!
My car is waiting for me at the port, but my stuff still hasn�t arrived from the slowboat. I�ve already had a dream about going to pick up my stuff, and discovering that all my vinyl melted in the sun. But that�s not the point. For a while, Hawaii had the only cap on gas prices, making our gas cheaper than practically anywhere else in the United States after the post Katrina jump. That cap just got another cap in its ass, making a fifty-cent jump in price. Now I can feel like I�m paying my fair share when I make two separate trips! Just doing my part!
Yesterday, when I planned to pick up my car, I grabbed my bicycle and discovered the back tire was completely flat. As I left my bicycle pump back in the states so that others can enjoy it, this means I get to go shopping! Shopping is fun!
And I got the job at The Company What a fantastic opportunity to meet people and see interesting marketing techniques on things that I like, such as the Invader Zim lip balm! Who wouldn�t want Invader Zim lip balm?
Oh wait, the handout from this class says sarcasm isn�t a healthy form of humor. Fuck it, I already know I�m indestructible.
Or at least I better be. See, my back did finally peel from that sunburn, and I was planning on sending some to people as a gift. This morning I discovered a legion of ants had found my skin to be absolutely delicious. Now that they�ve tasted human flesh, I might be in some serious trouble.
Anyhoo, my old boss back in California gave me this book as a joke during a dinner he held in honor of the store employees. He probably didn�t think I would actually read it.
This is why I don�t want books as gifts, even when they�re bad ones. I still end up reading them.
When I read it, chuckling over all the communist fear mongering, I thought it was quaint. However, after one of my lesbian housemates and I watched The Motorcycle Diaries recently, we�ve decided that the word �commie� is still a great insult, on par with �Cracker,� �Honky,� �Broad,� and �Ms. Happy.�
I�ll be sure to say it a lot whenever one of these The Company shoppers spends 18 bucks on a hammer and sickle shirt.
