Jerome Klinkowitz & John Somer (editors), �The Vonnegut Statement�
So Klugarsh hit me with a tag, which is explained on his site. Essentially, I�m supposed to complain about five things that are popular with the masses for no discernable reason.
This could take a while. Strap in.
I saved this entry for a bit, because a book of essays about Vonnegut is the perfect segue. On my profile there�s a quote from The Sirens of Titan: �The big trouble with dumb bastards is that they are too dumb to believe there is such a thing as being smart.�
That�s what I find infuriating � the celebration of stupidity that occurs in this country. It�s not as if I�m suggesting we all constantly go around discussing the validity of Sartre and contemplate the meaning behind the symbolism of fast food. In fact, I�m a fan of stupid humor. My old roommates and I had a habit of shouting �DUUUUH!!!� for all hours of the night. But we could revert out of that if we wanted or needed to. Others don�t seem to have that luxury.
And so my peeves all fall around this area. First up � the infatuation with other people who are dumb as a sack of hammers.
I remember when the television show Fear Factor first aired. For some reason, it was playing in my living room. I passed the television and stopped to see the contestants eating disgusting things. I was waiting for my roommate to get dolled up so we could hit the bars, and so I saw more of this show than I wanted, but shut it off within two minutes. When the roommate appeared to see me sitting in front of a blank television screen he asked what happened, as I guess he was following the action. I explained that these people on the show had a chance for fame and money. I wasn�t getting anything by getting grossed out by watching them get grossed out, and therefore it wasn�t worth my time.
The reality show phenomenon was just underway, and you could tell from the beginning that it was only going to get worse. But even I didn�t know how bad it would get. Now these shows are nothing but a parade of stupid folks. That�s the selling point.
Anybody remember when the senior George Bush went into a supermarket and was totally transfixed by the automatic checkout machines? That incident was one of the major reasons that he lost his bid for re-election. Somebody that out of touch with how the real world works isn�t fit to lead it. Now, a decade later, we�re watching no-talents like Paris Hilton and Anna Nicole Smith do the same thing and instead of being run out of office and ridiculed, their shows are renewed for a second season. And that brings me to pet peeve number two.
I�ve been unfortunate enough to see about ten minutes of the Anna Nicole Show and found it to be completely dull and vacuous. The only reason for anybody to be interested in this show, and others like it, is that the people watching it want to feel superior. Shows like this are built around the idea of Schadenfreude. They�re not tapped for these programs because they are interesting, they�re picked because they�re rich, famous, and dumb as a brick so we can feel better about our own lousy lives.
I don�t need to look down at others to feel better about myself and if you do, then what does that say? To go back to the Fear Factor, they may look stupid, but they�re still getting paid. They�re getting paid because we�re paying attention to them. I don�t have the time or inclination to pay attention to idiots, and if the rest of the world did the same thing, these people that everybody loves to ridicule and complain about would disappear.
But it�s not limited to just making fun of celebrities, which brings us to number three on the peeve list � we, as Americans, seem to enjoy putting idiots in power. It was easy for me to make fun of Minnesota when Jesse �The Body� Ventura was elected, but now I have to keep my mouth shut as my state elected a pumped up steroid victim as governor. And as dumb as Arnold is, he�s beaten hands down by our commander in chimp. Consider today, after the bombings in London, where Bush made this statement:
- �We will find them. We will bring them to justice. And at the same time we will spread an ideology of hope and compassion that will overwhelm their ideology of hate.�
What the hell does that mean? First of all, isn�t that the same speech you made after the buildings fell down in New York, and we still don�t have anybody that�s been held accountable? Second, it�s such an odd, vague threat that doesn�t make any sense. It sounds like you�re going to find the people responsible, string them up, and then smother them with kisses. Kill them with kindness, so to speak.
By the way, for those who have read my book, which I still need lots of other people to buy before I move, the Red Hot Punk Rock Goddess lives right by one of the blast sights. She hasn�t answered my e-mail, and her band Web site has not been updated. I really hope she�s all right.
The central theme around those last points all show that we celebrate idiocy. I think that�s terrible. Right now, my signature message on my e-mail has a quote from a girl who �starred� in the first reality movie The Real Cancun noted for her appearance in a wet T-shirt contest. This girl told reporters, quote, �I�d rather be known for this than to be smart, or something.�
That girl lost the contest. And this is her crowning achievement? This is what she wants to be remembered for? Is it any wonder why I really don�t like people as a whole?
I�m not sure I can expand my revulsion any further, or that I need to. There are other areas, such as how media have to push the fear factor to try and sell their stories. Or like music � giving away my age, when I first heard Public Enemy, I thought they were going to save popular music. I thought rap was going to take the place of punk, which was already drowning in its own clich�s. But instead of moving toward intelligence, rap mired itself in the gangsta persona with everybody talking about how hard they are. It was depressing to me, because talking about how tough you are is easy, both to the writer and the listener.
About two years back, I was in a pop culture class that analyzed all of these issues, and the conclusion that we made is there is a new movement happening in the United States, a movement centered around anti-intellectualism. One of my projects involved going to various nightclubs and bars by myself and reading, while gauging the reaction of others.
The most interesting phenomenon was the people who wanted to make conversation because they assumed I was a person of intelligence. Not because they thought I might be interesting, but because they thought they could use me as a �test your knowledge� game, like the strength tests at the fun fair. And almost always, these conversations that started would lead to a disclaimer about how they �never read a book in their life.�
These confrontations would come across like a challenge � �hey, I might not read your long-haired books, but I�ve done all right.� And some of them have, though I would note that I don�t feel the need to prove myself to a construction worker.
I just had one of these guys come into the bookstore the other day. He said that he saw the sign outside about how we buy books, and that he came across a ton of books in his line of work. It was past the time when we look at books, and I told him as such, but he was obviously used to wheeling and dealing, so he tried to buddy up with me in hopes that I would acquiesce.
But the manner he used seemed so odd. He stated that he had �probably never read more than ten pages of a book� in his life as a point of pride and then talked about the great set of books he obtained on the Civil War that came in a copper case.
I knew the set he was talking about, but I also knew they didn�t come in a copper case. They�re issued by Time-Life and you receive them once a month in the mail like the Columbia Record House. I told him as such.
He saw the opportunity. If he showed me the great collector case they came in � you know, just for conversation sake � then I might forgo the buying hours rule. He ran out to his car before I could stop him.
When he came back in, he enthusiastically showed me the special display case for the books. I glanced over at what he was holding.
�Dude,� I said, �that�s a container to hold firewood.�
�Really?�
�Yeah, really.�
Oy. Let me give a big shout out to the smarties. You�re all a bunch of sexy bitches. And it�s because of that, that I won�t continue the tag. I don�t want you to have to dwell on the bad things.
That, and I�m not sure I have five friends to tag.
