The Monkey King's Used Primate Emporium and Book Reviews

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-. Posted 01 June 2004

Special! Buy one book and one record ($9 total) and receive the other two records free! How do I do it? Volume, volume, volume! Plus a certain unwillingness to cart around hundreds of records and books until they disintegrate.

$9 for one of everything � Buy with PayPal

Mad Cows Indeed: A novel through e-mail, Dean Carrico / Naked Shackleton: A dude's trip to Antarctica, Craig Billmeier

In 2001, before planes and buildings attempted to mate unsuccessfully, Dean went to England for a student abroad program. While he was there, he sent dispatches by e-mail of his exploits and exploitations to friends and family. Once he returned, numerous people complemented his writing. "You should collect all of those and make a book!" they said. So he did. And then these people said, "I already read them when you sent them through e-mail! Why should I buy a copy?" Bastards. But you haven't read it, have you? HAVE YOU?!? Well, now you can.

As a bonus, you get the chronicles of Craig Martin Billmeier (of Bay Area bands Your Mother, Love Songs, All You Can Eat, and What Happens Next) about a trip he took to Antarctica.

$7 - Buy with PayPal

Idiot Bitch

Loser 7"

Back before punk was marketable, the forces that were Maximum RocknRoll, Punk Planet and Gilman Street collective were grooming it for the masses by attempting to remove any element of offensive material. Our response? We started a band with PC ideals and decided to use a sexist moniker to see if "the scene" would actually listen to us, or only get upset about our "sexist" name. Those who realized that our name stood for the literal translation of the two words loved us. Most people didn't get that far. See what caused all the fuss. I.B. also appeared on compilations for Nothing Records (How Lovely Nowhere Is), Smart Ass Records (Fall Asleep to This) as well as A Tribute to the Fuckboys. Their second EP, Set Your Polka Feet a Dancin', was released by Wedge Records.

$2 - Buy with PayPal

Preachers That Lie

By the Dawn's Early Light 7"

San Jose mainstay party punk band (meaning we played at parties, because we're punk) PTL opened for every big name 90s punk band that you can think of such as (Here comes the list. Take a deep breath, it's huge! That just sounds dirty) Bad Religion, NOFX, Jawbreaker, The Melvins, Neurosis, Angry Samoans, MDC, Vandals, All, Naked Aggression, Screeching Weasel, Christ on Parade, Green Day, Econochrist, The Mummies, No Use For A Name, Stikky, Mr. T Experience, Capitol Punishment and Good Riddance, just to name 20 of them. They also appeared on compilations on Lookout Records (Can of Pork), Dead Beat Records (Viva La Vinyl) and Farmhouse. Then they put out this record, went on tour, and promptly broke up. This band has been compared with Minor Threat meeting The Descendents at 7 Seconds' house. And that doesn't fit how they sound in the least.

$2 - Buy with PayPal

Remember, if you give the Monkey King money, he'll stop making you feel stupid and he'll go away!


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